Shepheard: Johnny Pulp and the Lemonheads
i dreamed I was awake and dancing slow
well the room had a strange place all for me
Sleeve Notes
i dreamed I was awake and dancing slow with you I dreamed I was holding you close and singing the blues I was dreamed we'd walked right out into the wide widening space and I stroked your hair and touched your face ah these are the christmas gifts that come when all that is done is done and I've drunk too much and said things wrong when it turns out there's no dance no song ever walked home when you know all's gone ever talked into the dark with words forlorn and turned and turned again to see she's not singing nor standing next to me ah these are the christmas gifts that come when all that is done is done and I've drunk too much and said things wrong when it turns out there's no dance no song sat sitting staring at the bright christmas lights glow sung the holly and the ivey and watched her go and stayed to drink some more whisky and rum and watched the time pass me by and known what's done is done ah these are the christmas gifts that come when all that is done is done and I've drunk too much and said things wrong when it turns out there's no dance no song maybe once i was a kind of wandering star and she whispered i know exactly what you are and i smiled and she wondered and maybe i was wrong but she loved me then and would have danced and sung our song but the winter comes and christmas too there's a long line from here where I am to get to you and letters and tears and words didn't last and all's left behind in memories of the past ah these are the christmas gifts that come when all that is done is done and I've drunk too much and said things wrong when it turns out there's no dance no song did you see it in my eyes or was that just a trick of the lightI've got a chain saw in my pocket and feel the heat of the night sideshows and carnivals where the traffic overflows and the strangers without tickets the vampires and freak shows merry christmas to us all there's no doubt it's all about the fallen and the hopeless all their cares and their doubt a season of goodwill it seems so that no one should despair all it takes is what it takes to love and give and care wish I had a magic charm I'd use it and cast a spell there's be things I'd organise folks who'd know I wished them well and down by the staircase going to a whole other floor card games and dancers and a kiss on all fours merry christmas to us all there's no doubt it's all about the fallen and the hopeless all their cares and their doubt a season of goodwill it seems so that no one should despair all it takes is what it takes to love and give and care they were dancing and singing and the lights were warm and low one boy stole anothers girl they nearly came to blows but the music raised the spirits so when all was said and done there was laughter and tears and fate was left to run merry christmas to us all there's no doubt it's all about the fallen and the hopeless all their cares and their doubt a season of goodwill it seems so that no one should despair all it takes is what it takes to love and give and care the winter came and frost did form across the trees and the road and choirs of many voices rose and strange bells tolled a landlord scratched his head and wondered for a while about life and death and love and all even he began to smile so when the stars are hidden maybe and their fires are dim there's sometimes a way to find and keep on going we're all mysteries and gifts and maybe all will be alright and we'll be carried away together in the warmth of love's light merry christmas to us all there's no doubt it's all about the fallen and the hopeless all their cares and their doubt a season of goodwill it seems so that no one should despair all it takes is what it takes to love and give and care well the room had a strange place all for me bright and cold and empty and oh yea, lonely,and stripped i sat on the chair waiting and calmand when they came they drew a black arrow on my arm christmas in hospital wards has a sad kind of charm everyone frightened and realising here might be unstoppable harm christmas trees and shadows and coloured lights well well well, rain fell and i liked life with all my might all my might woa hi heard a phone call through the wall fated by thrills somehow a glacial voice and then the thought what kills is beyond comprehension beyond whatever we door say or know or dream whatever our point of view christmas in hospital wards has a sad kind of charm everyone frightened and realising here might be unstoppable harm christmas trees and shadows and coloured lights well well well, rain fell and i liked life with all my might all my might woa hand hours passed and i lay down on a long bed tried to read then acted as if i was lying there already dead always wondered what it would be like to wake entombed and i closed my eyes tired enough to say goodbye to you christmas in hospital wards has a sad kind of charm everyone frightened and realising here might be unstoppable harm christmas trees and shadows and coloured lights well well well, rain fell and i liked life with all my might all my might woah and when they brought me to the place of the cutting knife they found it hard to find a vein with any blood or life and we laughed like something was kind of forlorn like i was going back to try again and be reborn christmas in hospital wards has a sad kind of charm everyone frightened and realising here might be unstoppable harm christmas trees and shadows and coloured lights well well well, rain fell and i liked life with all my might all my might woah christmas in hospital wards has a sad kind of charm everyone frightened and realising here might be unstoppable harm christmas trees and shadows and coloured lights well well well, rain fell and i liked life with all my might all my might i've lost my breath need to take a moment and think see what is happening here down down I sink the water rises over my mouth my eyes listen in the storm to the cries and sigh stalk is cheap I'll have one more for the road it's silence I hear now and it's got cold lights shining into the crimson heart of the barI rang a couple of times wondered where you are spoke to a stranger and looked hard into her face danced on my own like inventing time and space ah what time what space whose face whose face ah its all going into the dark ah all going going gone and hark the herald angels and merry christmas hmm will anyone miss us /AHH comes the time comes the final way haul me over coals and here's christmas day are you still around i lost whatever I found ahhh strange to listen at midnight to silent night and take my hand yea i'm cold shiver in fright can anyone save anyone here ah well this is cheer tenderness was what killed my mindI'll bury me inside a carol and find forgiveness I guess or hope or you the barn door and the strange view bound tight for winter and its sorrow we drink to the moon whatever we beg steal borrow until tomorrow dear, ah til tomorrow ahh bound tight for winter and its sorrow we drink to the moon whatever we beg steal borrow until tomorrow dear, ah til tomorrow put on your boots strap them up and come along down the lane to kingdom come come along come along don't be late drink a bottle and raise your glass listen hard to the cheerand what you bless is what you need and desire and hope for and smile smile a little while before you break down we always breakdown in the end so here comes the sun here comes the moon here comes the day and here the night place your bets and throw your hat into the ring and seesee what comes and see what's next make a wish upon a star bring it all home you're always and never alone see the fairy on the tree want you to kiss and hold me see the stars in the wintery night the silent hills and hear the choir and in the bleak midwinter is a great song i sing it wrong but loud and with feeling there's a good kind somewhere and shepherds and thieves on a cross whilst a baby gets born hearts and the love lornand dynamite and guns bombs and street fighting wounds and scars and wailing women on the streets once more under the bright stars tears that roll down your silver cheek and silver soul and golden bowl wash away the toil and strife the blood that flows the nails the knife and well the way this all happens each year right now in the christmas time all eternity in a kiss that is a mystery like all of us are mysteries no telling what's happening and who is rising up or falling down the chorus is singing out on the streets at your door and children with glistening blindness know best what can be known and seen there's someone oit there needs your prayers tonight ah we all need your prayers tonight and the spontaneous gift solves nothing but holds us to something better than we thought possible which is strange, so strange. the charity shop was nearly empty i browsed and found a german LP for one pound and twenty five pence.best music ever . the lady on the counter looked at me without a sign of anything and I wished her merry christmas just over my shoulder and went away. I talk too much way too much and nothing is in a word when I speak and the time well it seems all that's left is time between a time between what? a word? a sentence? a stream of fucking consciousness that dribbles on and on into the greatwide riverrun remember when everything was so exciting and there seemed no limit to what could be thought up in the middle of the night in the middle of a kiss or a momentoh you could imagine the whole world flowed into your brain or mind or self or whatever and out would come this dazzling this brightness so bright I had to cover my eyes cover all the eyes there but laughingwell I thought it would stopI thought I'd run outthought there'd be a moment when I'd lay down hand in hand and rest, like, rest in peace ah. I think there's something gone wrong likeI don't seem to be able to do that.I spoke to someone it was in a time when I had to listen more than I had up to then so I listened and listened and wanted in the end to just rest my head on your shoulder and close my eyes and speak no more. but like a bloody fool I just couldn't keep my trap shut.like the river run it ran right through my skull to my tongue and off I went and the strangest things keep happening on the tip of my tongueI can taste reality whatever that is and don't suffer fools and end up sitting ina. corner shaking my head and these are tears of laughter and sorrow and it's a merry christmas one and all and I mean it because I can't stop being amazed by you and all around me and this is the season we use to say that isn't it well yes it is, it is, it isso merry christmas one and all ha I might have seen something between the blue dark streams of night time and the rain washed streets late in the morning diggers digging, lorries heaving their heavy loads and a sort of warm chill that comes from deep like bones unfolding and releasing their marrows its been one of those weird days ha anyhow, I drank a whisky alone for the first time for weeks months even it was whilst I listened to the wind outside banging an outdoor door like someone reverse knocking you know like they were knocking to go out not come in and I had thoughts that piled up and an ego for a while that then slid down like crumpled washing from a lineI talk a lot so have many lines never make sense never make sense but try and find it hear it recognise it well well wellI walked out past three oclock and there was no one about saw a fox we always see foxes round here and the houses were all dark no lights they'd turned off the christmas lights like christmas wasn't there in the night which is when you need it most of all when there's no one else around just you and the cold streets and whispers from no where in the wind from no one ahh I could imagine being mad its hard being awake when all is sleeping even the fucking mice even the fucking cat jeez so I stood by a bandstand in the park and listened and then stopped doing that even just stood and dreamed of a stranger coming along the path and we'd talk about this and that and then pass on by nothing more than that and maybe we'd meet again next year same place same time same reason and then walked up the hill and saw the crib in the church a nativity scene and wondered a little and watched shadows and street lights and a single car that whirled round and away i would drive you anywhere I thought drive you mad I smiled then crept back up to my room and listened to black star and then fell down dying into another perfect christmas night you feel lonely? no, must be just me. Here it comes the great festival and its lights and shining hearts ah I can remember death at sea I'm all at seagot little to say can hardly breathe to be honest hand is shaking all through the night can't hold the universe steady oh fuck me it's a black slide and down we go.you ever asked anyone why? I stopped after the first beating.hilarious.some walks go no where others stop here at the heart at the heart. the hearts where I start. Nah. That's not right.did tomorrow come and go.I must have been sleeping . all dayI drank. All night I was at the window watching the skies. Trees dissolve against high horizons. if I had the guts I'd walk right in and throw over the tables money changes hands are your hands changed?can you still feel? can you still feel? can you still feel? ahhhhhh so lonely.merry merry merry christmas wolf tears out its own eyes blood in the trees something dies rainbows and the arc of the desolate road curves into the sound of bells time's old and candle flames shiver by the glass rains coming and nothing lastsSo so, this is circumstance and fate snowflakes father christmas is late can't remember the last time can you? when it wasn't about dying in the cafe the coffee is bitter how long can you stay words mess up get things wrong world seems to be cruel nothing adds up stir stir your spoon in the dark in the cupand set your face against the coming nighteyes dimming into the christmas trees christmas light So so, this is circumstance and fate snowflakes father christmas is late can't remember the last time can you? when it wasn't about dying the doors are locked the roads all gone where but elsewhere and elsewhere knows everyone but you and your cracked face draw me a map see? you've no place.no voice no name no one is calling for you through the nighttime there's nothing you can doSo so, this is circumstance and fate snowflakes father christmas is late can't remember the last time can you? when it wasn't about dying ah So so, this is circumstance and fate snowflakes father christmas is late can't remember the last time can you? when it wasn't about dying Blood on my hands going down the side the sparrow the hawk the children's slide who waits by the roadside curb and weeps who opens their mouth but cannot speak?no more hope the money's all gone the lamps don't work, everything's wrong listen you can hear them the rats in the drains you're awake and hear things coming along the lanes the hollow place between the ears the lonely time where all disappears the gate swings on its hinge, the wind blows rain falls with the leaves all goes all goes no more hope the money's all gone the lamps don't work, everything's wrong listen you can hear them the rats in the drains you're awake and hear things coming along the lanes faces are fearful pressed tight to the bone the roads narrow lights dim the waves foam the town on the edge of the land is crouching like a beggar woman tramp broken and slouching no more hope the money's all gone the lamps don't work, everything's wrong listen you can hear them the rats in the drains you're awake and hear things coming along the lanes and misery isn't something you can really name it's more a trembling of water in a bucket of pain when the dark rinses out the last of daylight there's stillness and terror at midnight no more hope the money's all gone the lamps don't work, everything's wrong listen you can hear them the rats in the drains you're awake and hear things coming along the lanes the year is falling down we all are you might take a train drive a fancy car there's no way out its the very end something cold is arriving around the bend yea... no more hope the money's all gone the lamps don't work, everything's wrong listen you can hear them the rats in the drains you're awake and hear things coming along the lanes there's more to everything than meets the eye gold silver myrrh the great blazing star in the sky the mountains and deserts and every grain of sand the three ships are coming who knows when they'll landrise up your hearts and hope may come and circle your despair listen to the smallest sign the footsteps on the stair in the harbour sailors throw their ropes then pull with all their might and the rich will all fall away and blind restore their sight trouble in the city the tyrant's on a spree he's a killer and a liar and he never shows any mercy the rich live in their towers and see nothing but cattle low but the truth is beneath them where the poor and lost gorise up your hearts and hope may come and circle your despair listen to the smallest sign the footsteps on the stair in the harbour sailors throw their ropes then pull with all their might and the rich will all fall away and blind restore their sight blind creatures and demons and fires on the hills shepherds with the flocks at night and the howling wolf that kills and angels come and go in glory bathed in strange light and realms of glory coming down from a great height rise up your hearts and hope may come and circle your despair listen to the smallest sign the footsteps on the stair in the harbour sailors throw their ropes then pull with all their might and the rich will all fall away and blind restore their sight when you see the child who's born and tears begin to flowits joy and hope you're feeling it's what we now all know and raise our eyes beyond the rich and cruel locked inside their towernow glory comes from poverty and soon will come the hour rise up your hearts and hope may come and circle your despair listen to the smallest sign the footsteps on the stair in the harbour sailors throw their ropes then pull with all their might and the rich will all fall away and blind restore their sight i was staring at the stars in the bright dark of the night and who was wandering by that strange and beautiful light and heard people talking through the wall in another room and some kisses are blessings others they're a sort of doom what's christmas even for those who don't pray or sing what's the truth and why hark the bells that ringcome gather up all your soul for love and receive what we're all undeserving ofthree blind mice three blind mice you know how it goesone moment is a question mark who knows where the time goesI was one day wondering about how sweet my youth can beand then I'm old and confused and fighting for dignitywhat's christmas even for those who don't pray or singwhat's the truth and why hark the bells that ringcome gather up all your soul for love and receive what we're all undeserving ofcome rattle and shake the side of the house and hide your shamethere's a season for the loving kind and its also the one brings painand you sit for a while beneath the time and wonder which was realand count blessings like heartbeats and don't know what you feelwhat's christmas even for those who don't pray or singwhat's the truth and why hark the bells that ringcome gather up all your soul for love and receive what we're all undeserving ofthe stories seem like folk tales and then they fall awayother times they stick to the throat like they're made of claybut I tell them in a desperate time of dying and bloodand they rise up and what's real seems as it shouldwhat's christmas even for those who don't pray or singwhat's the truth and why hark the bells that ringcome gather up all your soul for love and receive what we're all undeserving of cross out my eyes and heart cut the bough from the tree and let it fall see black blood flowing over the winter earth hear the black crow call red light flushes up into the dark dark sky I was walking to buy nothing with nothing the shops and the breeze and the thought maybe all this is phony and people are making things up just to hide their fears and despair well that seemed a kind of honest thing to do with lies and I felt the sorrow that runs like electricity through the songs and cries and the way everyone seems frantically to want to be on a different earth not this one but one they dreamed perhaps when a child or when caught up perhaps in love's enchantment or just one of those strange moods that float delicate and fragile but nevertheless true when between the door of the store on the brink of the street you hover neither in nor out like on a line neither crossing over but not staying neither a kind of no man's land a borderline where you can't know what's what and there the world seems to be released and that's what we're doing with all these gifts and baubles and trees and lights and the parties and moments when we hold hands or talk wide and deep we're trying to say we know that dream of milk and honey we know its not here and even so even so we can for a little moment maybe bring it back into view out of the dream and that space between here and there, and neverwhere and neverland with the pirates that fly and the man with a hook and a crocodile counting time and a boy who won't get old like the snowman who likes the cold and the wise men three and the holly and the ivey well here it is and merry christmas meet me under the mistletoe this impossible dream don't let it go no don't let me go